Almost there!

I have finally finished my letter. I am sending it in for file approval and hope that it is approved. Who knew this would be such a long process to write a letter and put pics with it? I have such a feeling relief that I now have a product for them to look over. The only worry is that it will have to have major edits. Minor edits, okay, I can deal with that. Major edits may get to me! It just seems that there are so many little steps to this process. I know that I will soon have a final product for birth mothers to look through but the waiting is torture!

Frustrations!

In the past two weeks I have been experiencing some frustrations with my adoption agency. As you have read I am working on my pictures and have not gotten the timely feedback I wanted. Well, over my break, I got an email about a picture I took. It was of me and my friend Shannon's son Derrick. We were making a cake and D only had on his diaper. When you are two chocolate cake batter seems to go places so why dirty a shirt. The email I got asked me to PhotoShop a shirt on him. Really!! Are we the only people who think this picture was acceptable? After that email, I was not happy at all. I decided to wait before I responded and take some time to think about my response. A few days later, I emailed her back and just explained my frustrations with the pictures, feedback and the timeliness of the feedback. Guess what! I got an email back the next day by 9 am. Ummm....wonder why? I also received three other emails that day after sending in pictures. This week I have talked on the phone with her and received more emails this week then since the start of this in February. I guess not keeping silent did work in my favor. I guess I should have done this sooner. While I still want this done NOW, I am understanding where she is coming from and am just working on taking as many pictures as possible. I think I need about three more. It will happen but it seems I need to put my timetable to the side and let things happen as they happen.

Lasts!

People usually don't count last things in their life but that is how I have been thinking lately. At Christmas the hope was this would be the last Christmas without a baby. The New Year would be the last New Year without a child to ring it in with. Now I have started Spring Break and my thoughts go to what if this is the last Spring Break I have without a child? I am so excited to think this may be the last without a little one to enjoy and watch grow every day. Who knew the last of something could be so sweet?


Of course, I am planning to enjoy all of my lasts. I know that things will change when I do have that little bundle of joy  so I am enjoying these last times to sleep when I want to. To decide that I want to pamper myself this week and not have to worry about finding someone to watch him or her while I do this, and then thinking that I am spending money that I should be spending on something else. Lasts are things I am enjoying but I can't wait for those FIRSTS to start!

Pictures!

How long does it take someone to look at pictures and say I like that one and use it? It takes a lot longer then I ever would have thought. My home study is finished and all I am waiting on is for my pics to be approved. Once that happens I can put my words and pics together and make my birth mother letter. That's it! That's all I have left. I know it sounds like such a little bit left to do but oh my goodness! I have been waiting on pics and approval since the end of January. My goodness! This is frustrating to me. Just say the pics are good put it together and we'll call it done. I would love for this to be done by the end of April. Every time I say that it's like it gets pushed back another month. I know I should complain but I have been working on this since December and want it FINISHED!. It's not in my control and I just need to accept that. I can't speed them up no matter how much I thank them for their speedy response. Pray that this will be finished by April or maybe the better prayer would be to give me patience. Everything happens in God's time right. Maybe the wait is setting me up to be shown  to that very special birth mother that I will meet and will bring me the child I am waiting for. Waiting is definitely hard!

Home Study Approved!

Finally, after six months of work and waiting, my home study has been approved! It was so weird reading about my whole life and seeing what friends and family had to say about me. It's a neat artifact that I will have for me and my child. I would imagine that one day they will want to read this information and see the feelings and reasons behind my decision to adopt.  This is a huge weight taken off of my shoulders. The next thing is to finish up my pictures and get my birth mother letter approved. My hope is that by the end of March beginning of April, I will be set to be chosen by the right birth mother. I am feeling like progress is being made and that makes me happy.

A Good Read!

If you are looking about a good read with an adoption angle, check out Cutting Stone by Abraham Verghese. The book does not focus on adoption but it is an underlying theme. It does have a little medical jargon but nothing that can not be understood. I really enjoyed this book. It made me go through so many emotions. Check it out and let me know what you think. I tried to get the book cover on here but can't do it.

A bit anxious!

I have turned in all of my paperwork and am just waiting on my home study to be written and my pics to be approved. Right now, not much of this is in my control and I am not enjoying that. I want the pics approved and the home study written. I am ready to get this show on the road. I want to be up so someone can choose me. Ugh! I know...patience...I just don't feel like having even patience right now. I want my stuff done NOW! Any ideas on what I should do to help get my mind off of this??